What?

The significance of what I'm about to post about may seem lost to most readers, so see the post entitled, "Dog Gone" from March for enlightenment.

My in-laws called to confirm that it was okay for them to bring "the dog" over later in May to stay at our house while they are out of town. "What?" Excuse me, did I just here you correctly? Seriously, after a long pause on the phone the first words out of my mouth were, "What?"

I can't believe they would even consider asking us that question. We tried to politely explain the badness of what had happened during her not-so-long-ago two week stay, but were they listening? Clearly they were not listening or they never, ever would have asked us/me to watch "the dog" ever again.

I can best relate this to a babysitter we had at our house on only one occasion. She was young, hyper and even before we left the house, had the boys running around like little monsters. I knew when we returned later that night when the boys were still up, and still running around like monsters, that "things" had not gone well. From what the babysitter said to us and the look of terror on her face prior to leaving, I knew I would never be able to ask her to babysit again. And, I have never asked or will consider asking her.

It's like that folks! But, instead of our experience lasting only one evening, like it did for the babysitter, our experience lasted for two frickin weeks. And they asked us again. What?

The worst part was his dad, who needs to start using his hearing aides again, clearly misunderstood something Chris said. I was told on the phone that Chris had said it was okay for her to stay here. Smartly, dad-in-law decided to check with me first. That was when he got the "What?" on the phone and "Chris never mentioned it to me."

Clearly, "the dog" is not staying here! I feel really bad saying no. Especially considering how many times they help us out with the boys....but really, shit on my carpet, pee on my carpet, vomit on my carpet, nearly biting my friends daughter in the face and just not liking her are all really substantial enough reasons to say no dog. And, I feel bad for Chris because he has to tell them no. I know he wishes that we had never agreed to watch her in the first place but the reason we did is that we thought two weeks in a kennel was a bit much, even for "the dog". So now our origional attempt at a good deed has gone to the dogs and it biting us in the ass.

Weekend

Our weekend was busy. The boys went with Chris to Monroeville for a car show on Saturday. While they were gone I helped Tami paint her garage. I'm not a fan of painting, but I took pity on her because they are trying so hard to get their house on the market by the end of the week. The garage looked good after a coat of white paint and I had fun helping her! The boys got a big kick out of the car show and Chris seemed to enjoy taking pictures of "Whiskey Tango" and people trapped in the 80's. He is going to get himself in trouble with his new camera! I'll just laugh when he does!

While the boys were in M-town with the grandparents, they decided to spend the night. That meant Chris and I went out to our favorite Mexican hang out for dinner. It also meant the I broke most all of my recent food rules and consumed a large amount of margaritas with chips and salsa. What could I do? We had a pitcher! It was a fun evening! Plus, I worked out both days this weekend, so I earned it.

Sunday was spent in our own garage cleaning out the mess that winter brings. We got stuff hauled outside, things stored in the attic and a good sweeping of the floor. It is nice to actually be able to see the second half of the garage floor.

So, it was just an average weekend. I felt like all I did all weekend was work, but oh well.

I'm stoked about having the second half of our landscaping done this week. I talked to our landscaper this morning and it sounds like he will be here at the end of the week to do the job! I'll have pictures of that, for sure!

"E-I-E-I- Oops!"

Congratulations Wes and the kindergarten classes at Covington Elementary for a great musical show. Our family and many others, were treated to the kindergarten musical last night. G & G came along to watch Wes' on stage singing and one-liner debut.

They obviously had a barnyard theme and all the children made hats/masks to help them represent their appropriate animal. Wes' class were pigs, with girl pigs being in pink and boy pigs in tan. Wes also got to go up to the mic and recite a line he learned. His line was "My name is Old McDonald. I'm a farmer, can't you tell?" Well, no, actually! A lot of the lines were pointless because the children did not wear costumes. Oh well!

Wes was nervous all day about the show, but you wouldn't have known it while watching him on stage. He waved to us many times and was next to his best friend, Ayana, the whole time. I got a couple of tears at one point when I was watching the two of them next to each other on stage. I'm so sad for him that his friend will be moving away. I need to tell him today or this weekend. The for sale sign should be going up at their house and I want him to hear it from me and try and explain it all to him.



Wes did a great job, as did all the children. I was impressed by the fact that the teachers were able to pull this off considering the morning classes never practiced with the afternoon classes, and vice versa. If it had been just singing, it would have been easy, but many of the children had lines to come up to the microphone and recite! Thus, making it very challenging for the children and teachers.

A huge thank you to Wes' teacher, Mrs. Eckman, the remaining kindergarten teachers, the music teachers, art teachers, other staff and volunteers that made last night possible. It was apparent that they all put a lot of time into this show. Also apparent was the amount of effort the students put into learning their music and lines.


(Wes and Mrs. Eckman)

Great job everyone!

I'm sad

Life has been going good lately. For the most part, the boys have been behaving themselves. Now that the weather has turned and they can get outside every day to play. A week ago they decided to get "artistic" with a pair of scissors and cut holes in their pants....that was definitely bad. But, since then, all has been well.

I have been working out nearly every day. I made up my mind that I have about ten to twelve pounds to loose and some major toning up to do. The trip to Orlando is a great kick in the butt for me. It is motivation to tone up for a new swim suit.

I need a new swim suit that is appropriate to wear in public with the boys. I've got a great, tiny bikini that I like to wear when I'm alone. For Orlando that suit would not be appropriate, nor would it be appropriate with the condition my body is currently in. SO, I've started SLOWLY loosing weight but mostly I've been reshaping my body. It is cool to start to see a difference and is all the motivation I need to keep working out every day! Chris scored huge brownie points for pointing out that he could tell a differnce.

But, why am I sad (see title of post)? One of my best friends, who happens to be my neighbor, just broke the news to me this morning that they are moving to Indy. Damn! We do everything together. Our children are weeks apart in ages and play together all the time. We babysit for each other, we bowl together, we carpool together, we signed up for pre-school together....get the idea. This is so sad for me.

Having Tami as a friend has gotten me out of my shell. Before we became friends I didn't really know anyone in our subdivision. I have other friends around town, but none that I see every day and do everything with. None that I could drop my boys off in the event of an emergency. Well, I shouldn't say that. All my friends would take my boys in an emergency, it's just they all live a half hour away!

Knowing that she is moving away is devastating. I can't imagine how upset the boys are going to be when they find out both of their best friends are moving away. I'm not even going to tell them for a while. I know it will be a while before it happens, they haven't even put their house on the market yet...but knowing it is coming is heartbreaking.

I feel like my life has been put on hold. Will I have someone or find someone to bowl with me next fall? Will I be able to get Connor to pre-school on time with out having carpool help while Wes waits for the bus? Will I be able to volunteer at school next year? (We took turns watching each others kids so that we could volunteer at school) Will the boys make new friends that they and I are comfortable enough for them to go over and play?

I'm sad.

Did you feel that?

I woke up at 5:30 this morning to the bed shaking. I thought maybe Chris was having a bad dream and I woke him up. We couldn't figure out what was happening! Our bed was shaking along with everything in the bedroom. The tv set was rattling in the large cabinet and I felt the room shaking. I got out of bed to investigate and was had no idea what was going on. I actually opened the cabinet door and tried to hold the tv still, to no luck. It probably lasted about 20 - 30 seconds!

That my friends, was my first earthquake. I never really got back to sleep and then heard on the radio when the alarm went off that we had an earthquake. We had an earthquake in Northeast Indiana?

It made me feel better once I realized what that was. I thought I was going crazy. I kept saying to Chris, "Did you feel that?" At least I'm not crazy.

Arrgh!

The weather is beautiful, life is hectic and the boys have been naughty. It seems they have managed to come up with nothing but head shaking trouble the last few days. And by head shaking I mean..."Why on earth did they do that?" Wes has been mouthy. Which, isn't completely uncommon! But, they have been doing naughty things.

Take today as an example. While I was working on laundry and picking up around the house they took their own pair of children's scissors and cut a quarter size hole in each of their respective pair of pants. While they were at it they also cut a small hole in the armchair cover for our lazy boy chair! What? I was even paying attention, not that I don't usually pay attention, but it seems like they usually do bad stuff when I get a call on the phone or I'm working on the computer. And by bad stuff I mean getting ice cream or cool whip out of the freezer and sneaking it into the family room.

I was furious. I tried the old approach of telling them that they could explain what they did to their daddy and why they did it, when he comes home from work. And, they could think about what their punishment should be. I was hoping they would fret all afternoon about it, but they clearly do not care. No fretting is happening.

I was getting ready to leave for the Y to work out when I discovered the cut clothes. I was so upset that I wore the wrong tennis shoes to work out, so I couldn't jog. More anger toward them...

They wanted to play at the big park by the Y but I refused. I felt torn by that because I had planned on letting them play there and it is a beautiful day outside, but I told them no as part of their punishment for what they did at home.

Why does parenting have to be so difficult?

A Disney Surprise

I'm shocked tonight at what has turned out to be a surprise family vacation. Last weekend Chris mentioned that he was going to have to go to Orlando in early June for a 3 day conference. He would be leaving on a Sunday and returning on a Thursday. I thought, "okay, good to have on the calendar"! I always appreciate him letting me know stuff in advance.

I realized he was actually hinting at my joining him to take advantage of the free hotel. Normally I would be all over that, however I did not wish to leave the boys behind. I suggested that if we were that close to Disney maybe we could find a way to make it a family vacation. I knew he would have to be in meetings during the day, but I figured I could entertain the boys. They love staying at hotels! Plus, this might be the cheapest way we could afford to do Disney! And, Chris gets to save his vacation time for later on in the summer.

As it turns out (this has taken all week to unfold) we are all going as a family. Yeah! We have the cost of our airfare, meals for the boys and I and Disney tickets. We are going down on Saturday and then we will have Sunday to ourselves to do Disney. While I'm aware that one day at Disney isn't much....it's better than nothing and will give our boys a taste of Disney. They have never gone.

Here is the best part. Our hotel stay was confirmed today. The Marriott in Orlando, where we will be staying, is the largest Marriott in the world. What? How did we manage to fall into that? The Orlando World Center Marriott Resort & Convention Center is beyond gorgeous. Plus, it's only 2 miles from Disney. I'm thinking that the boys and I can find a way to entertain ourselves with the 6 pools, water slides, sandboxes and other amenities that will be available to us while Chris is working his conference. I'm now feeling a little sad for Chris.

I can't wait to surprise the boys with this trip. I've tried to keep it quiet and we are going to wait a while and tell them. But, I'm so excited to see the look on their faces when we tell them they get to go to Disney. I'm so appreciative that Chris was able to work this out for all of us. It means so much to me to get to take the boys to Disney, plus have some fun in Orlando.

Spring Break!

We had a busy weekend. In between watching basketball on tv we managed to go to a Komet's home game. That was fun and probably the last regular season game for us. They have extended their home winning streak to something like 25 games. Good for them. Play offs start soon.

My parents came down to visit for a few hours on Sunday. It is a long drive for just a few hours, but that is all they ever seem to do. Mom mentioned maybe next time they come they would stay Saturday night and go home Sunday. Wow, what a concept! Of course, that means someone else, besides her, would have to take care of the horses!

Today marks the start of Spring Break for Wes. I've been trying to plan out the week but a few key things haven't fallen into place yet. My Dad, who works for GM, might be laid off this week. If that happens we will try and plan a visit with him. If that doesn't work out then we need to plan something to do each day so that the boys (and I) do not go stir crazy! I've got ideas for each day but I hate to say yes to our friends and then cancel if we can make plans with my dad.

Anyway...we went to the "big" library today and it was a zoo. I guess everyone was thinking the way I was and it was full of kids....and loud! It should be a bit warmer this week but it's rainy today. Not much of a play outside day. Darn weather doesn't seem to know it's Spring Break!

Dog gone

My family will never own a dog. For the past two weeks our family (mostly me) watched my in-laws dog while they were gone to Phoenix to visit their other son, Stu. We offered the option of "the dog" staying at our house because they were going to kennel her for two weeks. While I'm not a big fan of their Aussie, I felt two weeks of kenneling was extreme.

So, Chris and I talked it over and we made the offer to keep "the dog" and they accepted. I had a system worked out so that she could go out in the backyard on a long rope. Even though our back yard is fenced, she could easily have gone under or over our fence!

The past two weeks have been difficult, to say the least. "The dog" was stressed out here and despite being outside A LOT continued to make messes on our carpet. Which, pissed me off. She is not kept in a crate, so just putting her up was not an option. My family is strong believers in being able to crate a dog and our dogs have always been able to do that. So, toward the end of her stay she was either outside, in our laundry room (where she conveniently never made a mess because she would have had to stay in it) or sleeping at night in our room.

I was soooooooooo damn happy when the in-laws returned and retrieved their dog. We will never, ever own a dog and I firmly believe that after our cat goes to kitty heaven we will no longer own any pets. The cat was my mistake before we owned our home. But, I do not like having animals in my home and we never will again!!!!

Seven things you might not know about me...

So, I didn't some up with this idea, I'm stealing it from another blogger. I rather liked the idea and thought it would be a fun change of pace.

1. I wore white Keds (tennis shoes) on my wedding day. No, I'm not a fitness junkie and I really do love cute, wedding shoes...but less than 5 months before our wedding day I had a second ankle surgery to fuse my right ankle. I spent the months leading up to our wedding in physical therapy hoping that I would be able to walk down the aisle minus a cast and without limping. Function beat out fashion for my wedding day. I did decorate them and they looked very wedding like!

2. I have no siblings. It's just me. When I was little and if someone asked me if I had siblings I would say "No, I'm a lonely child". Along those lines, I come from a very small family and I am the only grandchild on my mom's side. My boys will sadly never have first cousins and I will never be an aunt and Chris will never be an uncle. I think my parents did a pretty good job of making sure I wasn't spoiled, but I will admit that I got to do a lot of stuff with my grandparents that most kids do not get to experience. We traveled all over the place on their boat and I always spent time with them in Florida. This is another reason way I am so close to my Grandma and my Grandpa, who has passed.

3. I have a very bad habit of picking at my lips. I have always had a fixation with picking at things. I started out sucking my thumb and did that into elementary school. After braces for my teeth began, I moved on from thumb sucking to picking at my thumb. I don't really remember at what point I stopped doing that, but I have a very bad habit of picking my lips instead! Sadly, Connor constantly picks at his finger nails. Sorry buddy. That neurotic tendency definitely came from me!

4. I love sports. Not playing them, mind you, but watching and being a fan. My favorites would be college football, college basketball, professional hockey and then professional football. I despise professional basketball (I really think most of the players are just hoodlums!) and I don't care for baseball - too boring! One of my favorite times of the year is coming up with March Madness. For the past two years I have come so close to winning the pool I have been in, but no cigar. Maybe this will be my year!

5. I really like curling. Back home, in Michigan, we could get Canadian channels that had curling on all the time. I would sit and watch it for hours and everyone in my family, including my husband, thinks I'm nuts. It also doesn't make much sense that I like it, considering I think baseball is boring...but I also respect curling because last I'd heard there were never any curling/steroid scandals! I would love to try it some day. Unfortunately, I do not think there are any curling places around here. I guess I will have to stick with bowling.

6. I nearly died from childbirth with our second son. I was untreated for a type of preeclampsia called H.E.L.P Syndrome. A nasty little problem that nearly cost me my life. Connor was delivered via emergency c-section under general anesthesia. Chris wasn't even allowed in the operating room. I was so upset about him not being present for the birth of our second son. I guess under the circumstances I could see why he wasn't allowed in the room, but it still upsets me that he wasn't able to be there for Connor. I probably had H.E.L.P Syndrome with my first pregnancy but the symptoms were not as pronounced. Probably a good thing for Connor that it wasn't as bad with Wes, otherwise Connor might not be here. No more children for our family!

7. My family has horses and I used to be a riding instructor. I graduated from the the University of Finlday with an Associates Degree in English Equestrian Studies. I rode hunter/jumpers and competed at horse shows in Michigan. I loved jumping and so did my Thoroughbred mare. I went on to get my Bachelors Degree from the University of Michigan - Flint in a "real" degree, but all the while I was teaching lessons and had roughly 30 students most of the time. I enjoyed it, but with marriage and a family horses have become a part of my past. Some day when we can afford it, and my boys have grown up considerably, I will return to horses and get back in the saddle.

So there you have it. Seven things you didn't know about me. That was fun and I would encourage you to do it!

Godspeed, Reece

It is with so much sadness today that Chris and I realize our friends are spending their last moments with Reece. There was nothing else for doctors to do for her little heart. Her family will be saying goodbye to her today and she will be removed from the machines...her body free.

To anyone who may be reading this today, please say a prayer for a peaceful passing for Reece, for strength for her parents and for the rest of her family. While they will miss her dearly they have said that God created her, protected her and will now take her to be with him.

Godspeed Reece and fly high sweet angel.

This weekend

It has been a good family weekend. Chris was out of town on business for the later part of the week. The boys were excited to have him back when they got up Saturday morning. I'm reminded when Chris is gone of how much I need him at home and how much I miss him. We all went to the Komet's game last night and they beat Flint. Today we are just taking it easy. Hopefully Illinois can beat Wisconsin today in the Ben Ten Tounrey. Much sadness was around after Purdue lost.

On to the sad news of the weekend. We are being told by Reece's family that it isn't likely she is going to survive past this weekend. After the surgery they did last week doctors were just yesterday able to get her bleeding under control. They don't know why she is bleeding and they have nearly run out of options. Chris and I do not know the agony of what Evan and Lisa are going through and the decisions they will have to make today, but we do know the agony of having to watch dear friends bury their children. It is the worst thing anyone should have to endure and we are struggling to understand why horrible things like this have to happen to young children.

Hug your children, love your families and enjoy the reminder of this weekend.

Good news

I was so relieved to read a good update for Reece late today. I felt like I was holding my breath all day wondering how she was doing in surgery. That pales to compare to the anxiety, stress and fear her parents felt today. Hopefully in the coming days she will continue to improve and be taken off the ECMO machine. Keep fighting little one!

Open Hearts

My mind today is focused on the frality of life and our amazing hearts. While I'm typing this a friend of Chris' (through work), 2 year old daughter, Reece is back in open heart surgery at Riley fighting for her life. Surgons are trying to undo an earlier heart surgery from last week that failed. She has been on an ECMO machine keeping her alive until today. That's like being on a heart bypass machine for a week. Not good, especially for a 2 year old.

My thoughts and prayers right now are with Reece, her Mommy and Daddy, twin sister and brother. Hopefully Reece will continue to be the fighter that she has proven to be and pulls through her surgery today with a healed heart. May God be with the surgons and all her family today!

Flying Solo

To coin a phrase that Chris used in his blog today, I'm flying solo. I'm actually in Cape Coral, Florida, right now! Amazing to me that I went from 10 degree weather to 77 degree weather. I won't lie...it's wonderful!

It has been so odd and yet enjoyable to be solo. I miss Chris and the boys, and I do wish that they had been able to make this trip, but this solo thing is an unusual feeling. I woke up last night looking for the doorway to check and see if the lights were out and the boys were still in bed. I've even looked for the boys to see what they were up to a couple of times and it is quiet here....just a strange feeling. I have to keep checking in on my boys and bugging Chris! Kudos to him for dealing with school today and even the delay that mother nature threw at him this morning. Thank you Tami for calling to remind Chris of the delay!

Chris probably thinks I don't trust him or that I don't think he is capable. If I thought that for even a second, I wouldn't be here. He is the greatest dad and is enjoying our boys this weekend. As I type this they are actaully at a hockey game. Good for them!

I'm headed out with my grandma in a bit for drinks. We went shopping today (I didn't buy anything), out to lunch (complete with ice cream!) and then I spent the rest of the afternoon by the pool. It was just perfect weather today. It has been a bit cool in the evening, but still perfect weather. I had the biggest laugh this morning while I was on a walk with Mouse. It was cool down here yesterday and chilly this morning. Nothing that a pair of capris and a sweat shirt for me wouldn't take care of...but the locals were cold. While on our walk we stopped for coffee at Mouse's local coffee place. All her buddies were bundled up in winter coats, with hats and gloves drinking their coffee. It just made me laugh. Reminds me that with everything comes perspective! Cold to them is not cold to me!

Tomorrow we are headed off to some art gallerys and more shopping. I want to find some gifts for the boys and also something for my friend Tami, who helped watch the boys for me on Thursday after I left.

Thank you everyone for helping me out and getting me to fly solo. You are the best...oh, and Chris, what picture frame did Connor throw at Wes? :)

Bummer...

It had to happen sooner or later and last night was the night. Purdue lost! Big bummer! I thought that maybe they had a chance to sneak out of Gloomington with a win, but no such luck. There were a ton of fouls called against them, but at the same time they didn't make many of their own baskets from the free throw line.

To make it worse, Chris is taking it all very hard. He has a standing bet with a buddy at work that if Purdue wins the IU fans have to fly the Purdue flag and vice versa. So, to add salt to the wound I know the offending IU flag is hanging in Chris' office today making him even more grumpy about the whole loss! It doesn't help that Purdue only plays IU once this year, rather than the usual road game and home game. There isn't much chance of us getting even for last night. I know we would have pounded them at Mackey!

Sorry Boilers. At least you have a good, honest coach who isn't a cheater! And your team is only going to get better in the next few years, while IU is on a fast track to disaster!

I'm so excited...

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it.... I'm going to Florida. After much deliberation on my part and time spent researching airfare, I've decided it is important to me to visit my Grandma (who I call Mouse) for a few days. I will be going alone because, as I've said before, going during Spring Break when we can all go will cost us both of our arms and legs!

Mouse was surprised and happy when I called to tell her I was coming. I didn't want to say anything to her in advance because I didn't want to disappoint her, but I'm glad it has all worked out. I know she loves having me there and I sure could use a couple of vacation days. So, I'll be gone next Thursday through Monday.

The worst part is leaving the boys behind. I know how badly they want to go but we just couldn't do it. None of us know how much time we have left on this earth, but I don't want to kick myself a year from now and say that something happened to my Grandma and I didn't take the chance to make that trip to see her. Family is so important to me and she has always been there for me.

Of course this trip wouldn't be possible if Chris wasn't agreeing to take some time off to watch the boys. I also have my good friend Tami who will watch the boys for a day, so thank you guys for making this possible for me!

Will you...

...be my Valentine? Happy Valentine's Day, Chris! He has been a sweetie and called to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day. We do not have plans for tonight but are going out tomorrow instead. I wanted to go to dinner and the Komet's game on Friday...so that will be our Valentine's Day out. Perfect with me!

I'm married to an incredible man! I don't need flowers, or jewelry or silly stuff to know that I'm appreciated and loved. Chris goes out of his way every day to remind me that he loves me and our boys!

Thanks for being my Valentine! I Love you, Most!

Burr...

Burrr, is it ever cold outside. Over the course of just a week we have had thunderstorms, hail, rain, ice and now snow. Talk about extreme! Mother Nature is supposed to send some snow this way. Great, maybe another school delay tomorrow which means Connor would miss swim lessons, again.

I had a fun weekend. We didn't do anything on Sunday, it was just too cold. Saturday was fun for me because I got to go out shopping and have dinner with my good friend, Heather. I needed to find some new fabric to recover our nasty kitchen chairs. I guess it was good that I found something in the exact same colors, but it was nearly the same stripe as what we already had. It was the only thing I could find in the correct colors. Plus, rather than paying the $40 a yard price for the fabric I really liked, I bought the similiar fabric for $6.49 a yard. Kinda a no brainer. Now I have to figure out how to take the chairs apart and put on the new fabric. I also have to refinish the top of the kitchen table. It has table cancer and is shedding it's white paint.

Another great bonus of the weekend, drum roll please...Purdue won! To coin a phrase from my cool husband...Another Bucky Badger Beat Down! That was a fantastic game to watch Purdue win. I'm almost starting to have faith in them. But, whenever that happens something stupid will force them to give up a game and drop in the Big Ten standings. So, I have to assume that they are going to not win their games and be excited when they do win!

I volunteered in Wes' classroom today. That is always fun and I learn so much about him and how he is doing at school. His teacher is always quick to praise how smart he is. He is too smart sometimes, if you ask me! But, even better, by being in his classroom I can gauge where he is compared to the other students. He is doing great. I am also proud of him for being the kindergarten student named Covington Character Kid of the month for Teamwork! Great job Wes!

We will be making some decisions in the next few weeks on what projects around our house will be completed or put off till later in the year. I'm so hopeful that we can find a way to do a little bit of everything. My fingers are crossed.

Till next time...and Go Boilers! Let's see if we can make a Sparty Smackdown happen!

What is that saying?

I'm pretty sure there is a saying that goes something like this.."If you don't have something nice to say, say nothing at all." I know I should stick with it but then this entry would be two sentences. Instead, I'm going to say some not so nice things about members of my family and write a really long entry, just so that I can make myself feel better :)

It has turned into one of "those" weeks for me. My cold is dragging on into its 5th day. And, while I am not feeling like I need to be parked on the couch, I am tired of feeling like I need to wipe my nose every other minute or cough up a lung. Wes seems to have turned the corner and is feeling better, but poor Connor has a nose that will not stop needing wiped!

I passed up a Girl's Night Out with my friend Heather yesterday because I just didn't feel up to it. I hope to see her Saturday evening instead.

That brings me to my crazy family. Not my kids/husband family, but my they-gave-birth-to-me-and-raised-me-so-they-feel-obligated-to-give-advise-and-suggest-what-to-do-with-my-life family. My Mom just spent her annual few days in Florida with my Grandma. Now mind you, my neurotic Mother doesn't like to fly, hates being hot and can only eat fat free boring food, so traveling isn't really her cup of tea. She goes every year to say she visited her mother in Florida during her 6 months of winter hiatus and check up on her. I actually love traveling, enjoy spending time with my Grandmother and look forward to Florida every year.

However, flying our family of 4 to Florida has become an expensive little family vacation. We have lucked out the past few years by being able to travel when we wanted to and also taking advantage of some cheap airfare. We now have a kindergartner, which means we can only travel during spring break and can only fly on weekends during the same week EVERY family in America has spring break. Here is the point. Airfare is outrageous and we can't afford to go. We have a ton of things that need taken care of around our house and since everything costs money, something has to give.

Here is where my Mother comes in. While she says that both her and my Grandmother understand why we can't go, the guilt trip upon me has become intense. We suggested renting a small SUV and driving (we can't put the mileage on our leased Buick Rendezvous) if maybe my Grandmother could help pull a Silpada party together down there. It would help me pay for the rental, gas and motels for the drive down and offset some expenses of our vacation. She doesn't want to do a party. Which puts us right back to not going.

And, drum roll here....I'm the bad guy. I'm putting money and upkeep of our home ahead of importance of spending time with my Grandma. Yeah, I feel like shit about that, but I have a family of my own, bills to pay and a nice home to maintain. I'm an adult now and I have to make decisions that put the financial well being of our family first. Of course the boys want to go, they love going down there, and I want to go to...but we can't afford $1200 in airfare! That is just ridiculous!

Now I'm the bad guy. I have always and will continue to put family first. I am the one who has always made sure my Grandma is okay without nagging her and spying on her...like my Mother does. For years I was the only one in the family who even went down to visit her and my Grandpa (while he was still with us). And, I am the only one in the family who actually wants to go camping with my crazy 79 year old Grandma when she comes back to Michigan in the Spring. I'm the only grandchild, so I do feel like I have a responsibility to her.

I already feel bad about letting my boys down and disappointing my Grandma, so I didn't need the guilt trip from my Manic-Mom! I need to let it go, move on and except the fact that we will not be traveling to Florida. But, I can't let it go...maybe I should just go by myself for a couple of days to visit her. Then I would feel guilty leaving the boys behind. How does that look to a 6 and a 3 year old? Sorry boys, I know you want to go really bad but mommy is just going to go by herself without you...oh, and while I'm gone, you just take care of yourselves while daddy is at work. Yeah, that will work! Not!

I know that no one out there is reading this, and if you are, damn I feel sorry for you...get a life and move on. But, writing it all down has helped me realize that I can't go, my immediate family comes first and the rest of my family is out of line!